Some Signs You Might Be A Dick

18 Jun
Melissa Lee (a.k.a. LilaMae)

by Melissa Lee a.k.a. LilaMae

I love being around the rational-minded. I don’t like being around jerks. Within the skeptical community I’ve encountered some of the most awesomely cool people I’ve ever met in my life. People who inspire me to be a better person. I’ve also met some people who came across as cynical, pretentious, vindictive, holier-than-thou, smug, pedantic, rude, judgmental, condescending, militant, patronizing, and sanctimonious.

…in other words, the dicks.

Now, with The Amaz!ng Meeting coming up I know some of you are wondering “Melissa, how do I know if I’m a dick? Please help me O Wise One.” Well I’d be glad to, dearheart. I’ve put together a list of signs – the telltale symptoms that dickery might be endemic to your nature. Get a pen & paper. If you score higher than 80%, I’m sorry to inform you TAM has been cancelled.

Some signs you might be a dick:

  • You feel surrounded by idiots and you can’t help letting them know the truth now & again.
  • You don’t trust the people around you, and they don’t trust you.
  • You secretly enjoy watching people suffer & squirm.
  • You feel compelled to make a case to defend the use of vitriol and venom.
  • You think people who don’t think like you are weak, stupid or pussies.
  • You frequently point out people’s mistakes.
  • You act as if the rules don’t apply to you.
  • You really believe it’s that simple.
  • You think you have all the answers.
  • You justify your behavior by saying “they started it”.
  • You see organized skepticism as an us vs them war.
  • You enjoy taking people down.
  • You find you just can’t contain your contempt for believers.
  • You find it useful to mock or insult them, otherwise they never seem to learn.
  • You enjoy lobbing out “innocent” comments that serve no purpose other than to humiliate or cause discomfort to the person on the receiving end.
  • You have a small list of close friends and a long list of enemies, and you are equally proud of both lists.

Now I know most of you reading this are awesome, nice people and NOT dicks. But if you are a dick, it doesn’t really matter because the rest of us will be spending most of our time avoiding you.

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6 Responses to “Some Signs You Might Be A Dick”

  1. Bjorn Watland June 18, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    I’ll leave it to the dicks to correct the punctuation in the article above.

    It is more than possible to change the world by not being a dick. Pass it on.

  2. Melissa Lee June 18, 2011 at 12:31 pm #

    Aw come on. I wrote it at 3 in the morning dude. I had WordPress check it.

  3. Laura Jean Skye June 19, 2011 at 6:55 am #

    Nice list, not complete, yet a solid start. Thank you, Ms. Lee. I hope many Dicks recognize themselves and stay away from TAM. ” )

  4. Collin June 26, 2011 at 6:36 pm #

    Some of the bullets seem to be aspects of human nature.

    • Melissa Lee June 26, 2011 at 10:40 pm #

      Ah but it’s all a matter of ‘to what degree do you embody these aspects of human nature?’.

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