“You have nice cans. That should count for something! I wish I could help. I really don’t know much about networking. I’m a software guy.”
That, dear readers, is a quote from an email I received from a fellow skeptic and TAM attendee. (I was asking him if he knew of any net admin jobs available) And because I’m sure you’re curious, here’s my reply:
I can’t believe you just said that to me. Nice cans?! What are you, Larry from Three’s Company? Jeez. Next time I see you I’m measuring your dick just so I can make references about its size, henceforth. Software huh? Yeah I bet. Oooooh!
Yes I have my own style, don’t I?
I’m not going to get up on a soapbox and preach about sexism here. I’m still kind of suffering from sexism-fatigue in the aftermath of…you know. What I find interesting is that after reading that email, I immediately questioned myself and what I must have done wrong to let a man believe he could say something like that so casually to me. Is is because I wear low-cut tops? Is it because I curse? Is it because I’m too permissive when it comes to sexist jokes?
I know some would say it’s totally not my fault at all. But is that really true? We do teach people how to treat us. Have I been a poor example for my gender? Every once in a awhile, not very often, but occasionally I ask myself these questions and I wonder if other people do too (of either gender)…and what they do about it.
And just for S’s & G’s, here’s the rest of this lovely exchange:
“If you want to measure my thingy, you’ll need a yardstick.”
Me: You seemed so nice & quiet in person. And then you got behind a computer….sigh.
(Update: I would like to note that this person has since apologized profusely and sincerely. And I accepted his apology. So, the moral of this story is, if you get some jerkwad telling you that you have nice cans, posting it on your blog is an excellent way to teach him a lesson. And a good life lesson he did learn. )